Opinion

Before You Judge The Person

Hello beautiful people! Welcome back to my blog. How are you all doing? I hope you are doing well.

I have exciting news. I’ve been featured on a beautiful blog.
The article is about Factors to consider before relocating to a new country. Click here to read the article.

Let’s dive into today’s article.


If we’re being honest with ourselves, we have judged someone at some point in our lives.

Okay, if you won’t admit to that, (hahaha) 😂😂you can agree with me that somebody, somewhere, has at least judged you.

Many people tend to have their ideas about people they don’t know or haven’t met. Although there are many reasons why people judge, it is mostly because of these reasons:

  • We don’t know the person very well (yet)

  • We cannot identify with the person’s belief system, values, or behaviour

  • That person somehow threatens how we perceive ourselves

pixabay.com

The first thing to note is that judging others sometimes gives people a sense of “prestige” because demeaning others can create a false sense of security and identity.

This air of superiority that comes from judging others isn’t just hurtful or harmful, it is also very destructive, for both parties if care isn’t taken.

I’m a quiet and verrryyyy reserved person. Most of the time, I’d prefer to sit alone and keep to myself except I’m with my close friends or loved ones.

This more often than not, makes some people think I’m a snob – which, to the largest extent, I know for a fact that I’m not.

I am just a naturally shy person. I’m always shy to make the first move or to strike up a conversation with someone I don’t know or am not comfortable around yet.

But once I get over that first stage of getting to know and like someone, I become very chatty, I am a keeper. I get invested 100%.

When it comes down to it, people are different. No two people are completely alike. We need to accept our differences and stop judging people. It is hurtful to them and makes the people ridiculing look bad and ugly inside.

Even if one does not verbalize their judgments, it does not mean their insensitive thoughts are acceptable. It goes with the saying: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

I hear people say things about others all the time without consequences and this encourages them to continue getting their laughs through other peoples’ pain. It’s hard to listen to, but it can be stopped.

As humans, we have to make conscious efforts to be more accepting of others’ differences.

For many, we always don’t know what they have been through or how life has treated them.

One of the worst things we could do is to be insensitive to people’s pasts and realize how insensitive we were much later when it could have simply been avoided. It costs zero dollars to be kind.

The Bible reminds us to Love without recompense. Jesus remains a shining example of who we are to emulate. The Golden Rule remains “Do unto others what you want to be done unto you”.

Who are we to judge how others act, look, dress or who they hang out with?

To make fun of people is immature and shows people around you that you are shallow and close-minded.

Summarily, I hope that more people start with open minds and reduce the amount they talk about, make fun of, and judge others. Once more and more people begin to do this, it will result in happier lives for all.

Always remember,  judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are.

24 Comments

  1. LaShawn Uchenna Ani

    November 8, 2019 at 12:16 pm

    Hello Bukola, I read both articles. Congratulations 🎊🎈 on being featured , I loved the article about things to consider before moving abroad. For me it’s all about a new experience if and when I decide to move. Believe it or not I don’t judge people, that’s not my thing. Because for one I don’t want anyone to judge me. Nobody’s perfect, we all fall short. And your right it says more about the other person when they are talking and criticizing others

    1. bukolaorry

      November 8, 2019 at 1:17 pm

      Thank you so much Shawn for reading both articles.
      You’re right. Nobody is perfect. And who are we to judge others? Thank you for your contribution ♥️♥️♥️.

  2. Dawn

    November 8, 2019 at 2:15 pm

    Congratulations on being featured on the blog! 🎉🎉 I enjoyed the article. I didn’t know you sing! Those were helpful tips. My daughter is living abroad in Spain, I can pass it to her.

    I also enjoyed your post about not judging others. I was recently talking to someone who is a retired teacher. She has never been married and has no kids. She said many thought she was gay, so a lot of parents didn’t want their kids in her class. She said she has never been gay, she just didn’t desire to be married. Hearing this made me desire to make sure I’m not forming an opinion about someone’s sexuality when I don’t know them.

    Thanks for the post! It was very insightful. ❤️😊

    1. bukolaorry

      November 8, 2019 at 4:09 pm

      Yes, I sing but I’m not a professional singer. Thabjs for reading the article. I’m happy the tips were helpful.
      It’s so bad that people get to judge others because of their apperance.
      Thank you so much for reading. God bless you ❤️❤️.

      1. Dawn

        November 9, 2019 at 4:54 am

        You’re welcome! We’ll keep making a joyful noise unto the Lord. ❤️

  3. Temi Michael-O

    November 8, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    Judging others is natural. We all do it when we do not have a relationship with the other. So, we have to constantly challenge and question our thoughts. The more we choose to see through the eyes of love, the easier it becomes to make good assumptions about others. Thank you for challenging us to not judge. It is something we all need to work on. Congratulations on being featured!! 😉

    1. bukolaorry

      November 9, 2019 at 7:13 am

      You’re absolutely right. We have to always challenge and question our thoughts.
      As the bible says “Love is Kind”.
      And as you said, love makes it easier to make good assumptions about people. Thank you so much for this reflective contribution🙏🏾❤️.

  4. ayansolaibukun

    November 8, 2019 at 10:29 pm

    This is such a fine and thoughtful read.
    Back on campus, in fellowship, there was this brother most people regarded as a snub: He doesn’t say much and often keeps to himself. I however decided not judge him based on people’s assessment and therefore struck a conservation with him. And alas, such a wonderful fellow he is. He only needed the push.
    Nothing good hardly comes from presumption. One shouldn’t pass judgment at face value.

    1. bukolaorry

      November 9, 2019 at 7:00 am

      A person’s silence (or quiet lifestyle) is mostly perceived as pride. You can’t know a person until you are closed to the person.
      Thank God for people like you who didn’t judge the guy. But talked to him instead. Thank you for reading and for your insightful contribution🙏🏾😊

  5. herrychiccounsels

    November 9, 2019 at 12:13 am

    Congrats sis!. More of this to come. Really helpful tips shared.

    True!. Judging from one’s physical view will lead us to miss out of good relationships.

    Smiles. I can relate with the misjudged quietness.

    Nice share sis. 💗

    1. bukolaorry

      November 9, 2019 at 7:06 am

      Thank you so much sis💕💕 You are absolutely right. Judging from one’s physical view will lead us to miss out of good relationships. I have a friend who told me she’s happy she became my friend in high school. Even though I was the only black in the class.
      Our friendship made her learn English language.
      Thanks for reading dear and for your reflective contribution💕💕💕.

      1. herrychiccounsels

        November 9, 2019 at 11:11 pm

        You are welcome sis.
        This I have encountered and now I get go know you first before deciding the next.

        Awww. That is so sweet. We are influencers in our spheres. That is great!. 🤗

        You are welcome. Glad to. 💗

      2. bukolaorry

        November 10, 2019 at 7:11 am

        ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  6. Shugunna Alexander

    November 9, 2019 at 3:36 pm

    Unfortunately you’re right, we’ve all judged someone in one way or another, which isn’t right. Your sentence :Always remember,  judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are.”, is on point. When we start to look at others without the full story or even assumptions we’re judging and it’s not fair, it does reflect who we are and sometimes that negativity perhaps keeps you from getting to really know someone; possibly a future friend! Great post Bukola 🤗

    1. bukolaorry

      November 10, 2019 at 7:10 am

      Thank you so much. And for your insightful comment🙏🏾❤️

  7. Michelle

    November 10, 2019 at 2:43 am

    Congratulations on your feature! I don’t think we should judge others because you never know what the other person is going though.

    1. bukolaorry

      November 10, 2019 at 7:08 am

      You’re so right. Thank you so much for reading

  8. Yinka

    November 12, 2019 at 1:18 pm

    One thing I would say I learnt a long time ago,Is not to judge a book by its cover because the pages might be beautifully written… and even though it might be easy to judge others easily, it’s always good to thread with caution

    1. bukolaorry

      November 12, 2019 at 3:33 pm

      You are totally right Yinka. Thanks for reading. And for your support 🙏🏾❤️

  9. Dawn

    November 16, 2019 at 12:25 am

    I love your post for today on Italy, but the comments appear to not be working.

    1. bukolaorry

      November 16, 2019 at 7:02 am

      Thank you so much for notifying me. I’ve fixed it. I hope it works 😅

      1. Dawn

        November 16, 2019 at 3:56 pm

        You’re welcome. Glad it’s fixed.

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