Raising a child is a very important and challenging job. I know because I’m a mother of two very energetic children. Whew.
There is no perfect parent. But to be a better parent to your child, you need to invest your time, energy, money and prayer🙏🏾. Children need constant and precise guidelines. But they primarily need love. They also have to know you love them. You can tell the kinds of children that were brought up with love when they’re older.
One of the most important elements that help children become responsible and boost their self-esteem from a young age is how their parents speak to them. The words we say to our children serve to form how they will face every aspect of life.
For this reason, it is fundamental to know that the words we speak carry weight and power. Words are important – they can make or break. Words affect our emotions and moods.
As parents, we have the responsibility to train our children.
Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
PROVERBS 22:6 AMP
We are to discipline them and correct them when they make wrong choices; using words that are encouraging because wrong and harmful words can destroy them.
Furthermore, it is crucial to always make use of warm, friendly but a FIRM language that makes them free to express their feelings.
Words are important-most times they say more than we think.
In a nutshell, if we want to raise confident and happy children, we have to choose the right words. The way we speak to them influences their growth.
Let’s find out, together, 🧐some words you should never say to your children:
1. ‘You are stupid/foolish.’
Calling a child stupid or foolish is wrong. It can be very damaging to a child’s mental health. Words are weapons and can leave marks in children.
The bible particularly says that we can use our tongue to bring blessings and life or curses and death(Proverbs 18:21).
Even when they rebel, we are to pray for them and bless them.
Do not let unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words ever come out of your mouth, but only such speech as is good for building up others, according to the need and the occasion, so that it will be a blessing to those who hear [you speak]. Ephesians 4:29 AMP
2. ‘Why are you not like your classmates or siblings?’
Comparison is the thief of joy.
When you ask your children why they are not like their siblings, it creates an unhealthy competition that can make the children feel they are not good enough.
Every child is special in their way. Just help them discover it. Even when they continue to make bad grades in school, you can talk to them and find out what the problem might be – as opposed to comparing them to their classmates or siblings that have higher grades.
When you compare your child to others, you may risk ruining their self-esteem and your child could generate an unhealthy feeling of envy and jealousy towards other children.
3. You are fat.
In our society today, one of the problems we have is BODY IMAGE.
If your child is overweight, you need to approach the topic with great sensitivity. When you tell your child they’re fat, the first thing that comes to their minds is “I AM UGLY“.
You might think you are helping the child realise they’re overweight. But negative comments on weight can create in your child’s mind, a very negative image of themselves.
Fat-shaming a child is a horrible thing. It can be extremely damaging to them and can lead to resentment, depression, anger, suicide, and a terrible eating disorder like anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa or rumination disorder. Just to mention a few.
If you want your child to lose weight there are other ways you can do it without hurting his feelings.
Motivate your child to eat healthily. Start with yourself. Be a good role model. Cook nutritious and healthy food at home.
Also, encourage good eating habits.
4. ‘You don’t know anything’
This is a very terrible statement. Telling your child they don’t know anything can damage their spirits irreparably. They’ll begin to believe these words and this can negatively affect them emotionally, socially and intellectually.
5. ‘I’m busy, leave me alone.’
I was once guilty of telling my children to leave me alone when I was tired or sick. And I noticed my first daughter would usually cry whenever I told her to leave me.
This sentence gives a sense of rejection to your child. Anytime you brush them off because you are tired, busy or sick, they’ll start to feel you don’t want them or don’t have time for them. I know parenting is the world’s hardest job. And I get that it can be very exhausting but even when you are tired, there are other ways you can tell your child you are occupied – and that you will play with them immediately you are done.
In conclusion, children are like sponges. They can identify the emotions they live in and adapt to it. It is essential as parents and guardians to offer children a peaceful environment.
Living in aggressive atmospheres makes children hardened and filled will all sorts of unpalatable things. Some children tend to react to these emotions by becoming violent and quarrelsome, while others become bullies and insecure.
The words we say to our children matter. Let them know you care for – and love them. Bless them at all times and let them know how grateful you are to have them in your life.
And you will, all of you, be better for it!
Thanks for reading as always🙏🏾.
Ciao! Ciao!! 🖤🖤
Image credits: Pixabay